Can I Say No?

Since day 1, I had heard the following: take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. The journey to medicine is riddles with hidden cues and invisible loopholes- treasure boxes that can only be opened with keys discovered with networking, research”ing”, shadowing, and, of course, an impressive resume stuffed with so much information in such a small space that it’s practically bursting at the seams.

Some things are a given- get good grades, great test scores, take the required pre-requisite courses, and, for added flair, major in an atypical degree (such as the arts). The journey continues- get outstanding letters of recommendation, save up money to pay for as many applications as possible, fill out endless secondary applications, and cross your fingers hoping all your dreams come true.

Fast-forward to your first day in medical school; you’re officially an MS1. The doctor dream already has a few cracks when you realize the studying never ends and never seems to be enough. Still, you made it and you are living the dream. Or maybe a dream created for you? Either way, the narrative repeat- get good grades, get good test scores, and fill your resume with as many interest groups and leadership positions as possible. Put yourself out there, get those research opportunities, and, if you are proactive, get published. Don’t forget those letters of recommendation- with those coming from the chief of your specialty being the most golden letters of them all.

While it is a rough oversimplification of the journey through medical school, this was essentially what I was told to do to succeed. Take every opportunity that comes my way without hesitation to prove that I was the shiniest; if not the shiniest, at the very least I would be viewed among those considered the cream of the crop.

Now residency has arrived; once I am in I am good right? But wait, there are scholarly activities, research projects, leadership positions, and requests to going above and beyond for patients at the cost of lunch, sleep, and vacation. When I observe the growing list of opportunities, I realize how it’s starting to get a lot harder to be able to keep up with the ingrained vigor behind my usual“yes”.

Don’t get me wrong, the desire to grow, learn new things, and step up into challenging roles is a part of the journey. But a new/old word I am learning to say both inwardly and mechanically is “no”. This is a great research opportunity, but I am already invested in two, maybe another time. No, I don’t need to pick up an extra shift this weekend; I would like to the rest. No, I will not double-book my afternoon appointment slots today- I’d like to leave work at a decent hour to catch-up with my family after working this past weekend.

No; a complete sentence reminding me that it is okay to have boundaries even in medicine. Yes, there are many amazing opportunities as a high school student, as a college student, as a medical student, as a resident, and I anticipate there will be even more as an attending. However, I am learning it is okay to be selective and decide which ones would be most beneficial not just to the progression of my career, but also to my development as a holistic person- which will also translate in practice and how I interact with patients.

Easier said than done, but I think this time…I will try to learn to appreciate when I can say yes and when I need to say no: taking the time to balance sacrifice with opportunities to rest.

What say you? Leave your thoughts and comments below or message me either on Instagram @minorinmd or via email @ minorinmd@gmail.com.

Until next time, stay well, carry gratitude and compassion in your heart, and remember the best is always to come.

All the best,

-MinorinMD